As I get older my memory fades. My children love to remind me of the things I’ve forgotten.
“Mom, you forgot to send a check for the book fair.” “Mom, you forgot to sign my permission slip.” “Mom, you forgot to put peanut butter and jelly on my sandwich, I only had two pieces of bread!” (Yes, I did this.) It’s usually small stuff that doesn’t cost much in the way of negligence. But one thing I cannot afford to forget is the gospel, it is the “life” within my life. When my aging brain is unable to dial up my “to do list” or why I’m at the grocery store it’s one thing, but to forget that I have a righteousness before the Holy God of the universe is another.
Forgetting my perfect position in Christ costs me more than a wasted trip to Publix; it costs me a night’s sleep, a fight with my husband, humility in relationships. It costs me peace. Not long ago, I texted my oldest daughter to ask when she would be home from a night out and she replied, “I’m waiting on you to pick me up.” Oops. I forgot. I forget constantly and not only about carpools but about my Christ-righteousness, especially when another mom has waited 20 minutes for me to collect my child. I forget the gospel when I look bad. I forget because my flesh is strong and my memory is weak. When I “blow” it, I scramble to recover my lost credibility. I begin to clothe my shame with filthy fig leaves, it looks like this: “I have five kids, you know…I’m a single mom…I’m not used to this new school schedule.” Then, I remember 2 Peter 1:9 that says when I lack faith I am “nearsighted, blind and easily forget.” So, I’m off the hook, right? Well…yes, because God knows this about me He has provided a remedy for my strong flesh and weak memory–Jesus–but it requires a knowledge of Christ and with that, my repentance. Instead of covering, I must welcome the exposure. Then, it looks like this: “Jesus, I did it again. Help me to live like I believe that my righteousness is in you.” This is true repentance, not just a “mending” of my ways because my sin runs much deeper than that, it’s a cry for rescue from my unbelief.
Repentance is admitting that you don’t believe the gospel in two ways: either you forgot that you have a righteousness through Jesus (like I did on the infamous “bread sandwich” day) or you forgot that you’ve been given all you need for life and godliness. I forget this too, almost on a daily basis. Just yesterday I had a friend say to me, “Michele, if God were to show you and me the factual forecast that, of course, shows a magnificent bottom-line for us, I dare to guess, we would not be disappointed.” You know why she had to tell me? Because I forgot that I was a well-provided for daughter. I forgot like I had some sort of spiritual amnesia and not just a bump on the head. She grew very sad watching me frenetically scramble around securing all that’s “mine.” I was acting like an orphan so she reminded me that I have a heavenly Father running towards me with open arms. I had a choice in that moment, I could keep pilfering the air or I could breathe in Christ.
I like the way The Living Bible puts it, “For as you know him better, he will give you, through his great power, everything you need for living a truly good life: he even shares his own glory and his own goodness with us!”
Really, Lord? Can this be true?
“I will supply all of your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” [Phillipians 4:9 NIV]
It really changes everything, doesn’t it?
So, I repented of my unbelief, “Lord, forgive me for forgetting that I already have been given all I need in spite of how things appear; give me clarity beyond my vision. Forgive me for taking matters into my own hands; I forgot to trust you. And Jesus, the next time I feel a wave of panic wash over me, make me remember that my righteousness is in you, and I have everything I need.”
What if I believed that I am a well-provided for child of the King?
“Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the LORD loves rests between his shoulders.” [Deuteronomy 33:12, NIV]
I want to stand securely in the righteousness of Christ, allowing His peace to be my shield from shame and worry. Only God can show me how to rest “between his shoulders.” Lord, make me willing.